Chapter One

Circumstances around me have made me push my writing harder.  I always write better when I am under a lot of pressure.  Not the kind of pressure that steals your appetite and keeps you awake at night, but the kind that keeps you constantly whispering prayers throughout the day.  That kind of pressure is like a drug for my creativity.

Although I am feeling this surge right now, the first chapter of my book still evades me.  It is clear to me that the first chapter is the most challenging to write.  I have read that some authors actually write the first chapter last, but I desperately need my first chapter now.  I have already written a fantastic introduction and I’ve polished chapters 2-7.  But chapter 1 is still just below the water’s surface.  I can see an outline in the murky green, and it is something great, but what it is exactly is driving me crazy. 

Isn’t that how creativity always works though?   You know you are on to something original and fantastic when it is something just beyond your grasp.  Maybe you can smell it or hear it, but you cannot quite touch it.  This first chapter is just as elusive. 

Moments ago, I was sitting in my car listening to The Civil Wars’ gorgeous song “The Violet Hour,” searching my heart for the words hiding there.  This is what drives writers mad.  It’s not writer’s block, which is when you are just empty, instead this is much worse:  it is being full of ideas and thoughts but having no words to symbolize our intense feelings.  As a writer, I have quickly learned, words are my biggest ally and my biggest enemy.  They can haunt me and charm me; devastate and devour.  But they are the fruit of my labor, and as we all know this process is the product I am searching for.